Exhibition in De Uelenspieghel 2002 / 钟鼐个人绘画作品展 De Uelenspieghel 个人画廊 2002

Santosh 与我是忘年交，50 几岁，每隔一段时间，他都会来我这里， 看看有什么新的作品，在一起闲聊上半天，或出去到附近的中世纪时期的小镇上喝上两杯啤酒。 其实，他是个很有绘画天赋的人，只是更喜欢写诗，在我还没有自己的汽车时，运送作品到画廊或美术馆的工作都是他主动帮助我的，一台长厢的老款Volvo，好像他只喜欢这个牌子的车，每次更换汽车都是这个牌子和款式。

2002年秋天，一个晴朗的下午，我们从格罗宁根的一个画廊回来，拉着在那里刚展出过的作品， 半路上他忽然想起多年前曾经去过一很隐蔽的地方，在附近一片密林的深处，那里住着一个老妇人，是荷兰唯一几个幸存的被纳粹关押过的人之一， 是个热爱艺术的人，自己也创作了近百幅的木板画，她的住处很大，几栋荷兰传统的民居，时常搞一些民间的文化交流活动，我们就顺路去了那里。 老妇人已经90多岁了，经营这片庄园的是她的女儿，一个很热情女人。 在她们最大的房子里，第一层是陈列老人美术作品的画廊，说是画廊，但是却从来没有接受过其他画家的画展。 交谈中，Santosh  介绍了我，母女两个都很好奇， 想看看这个从中国来的画家的作品，我就把作品从车里一件一件地拿出来，摆在树林里，老妇人的女儿 Annette  似乎很着迷作品的色彩，他们要搞一个秋季的活动，荷兰一些帐篷爱好者的聚会，大多是蒙古包和印第安人的帐篷，其间还有不同民族的歌舞表演，她希望如果我能在此期间在那里搞一个画展就更好了，她询问她的母亲，老妇人也很破例地同意撤换掉她的作品。

第二年，那个老妇就去世了，那里也再没有接受过其他画家的作品，我也就成了第一次而且是唯一一次在她的私人画廊展出作品的人。 

 

荷兰Drenthe省电视台对画展进行采访并制作<Expositie Zhongnai in De Uelenspieghel >

Kitty was a white female cat with only a few black points on her head and tail, she was so small in my hand when I just got it. Kitty was found in the place where song has been working for, was a child of a wild mother cat, it was a gift to against my low spirits and lonely life, can be a small companion. I like small animals, and therefore, she has accepted. Feed her on time, also often teasing her in leisure time and watching her play, life seems to have added some fun.

Kitty was very stubborn, and strong temper, likes to make trouble, she likes jump to my laptop whenever I sat down in front of computer to look at the picture on the screen naively, but I cannot type, I put her down, she jumped right again to go to the same place on the keyboard, sometimes repeated several times to jump up, I could not do anything with my computer. The most vexing is that she often secretly lick and eat the pigments on my painting palette, perhaps because the oil paints taste very soft same texture as ice cream, from time to time I found her ran in the room with a red or blue face and mouth, more exaggerated, once in her small house for excretion, even found sky-blue stools. . . . . . , luckily the pigments are mineral made, or else, she will be poisoned.

Those years, always a kind of inexplicable sense of urgency, maybe a lot of people will have such a feeling their around 30 years old  , I often thought the things what I have done in my homeland, lost, acquired, and also those dreams on the future and academic programs, all changed along with changes in the environment, face to the re-start everything, feel at a loss, the only clear thing is to remind myself not to give up painting, even though I do not know where the target and orientation are, but I should continue to go on. because it was too long to lock myself in the room face to the canvas and colors, sometimes a few weeks I do not have any visitors to talk with, then, that little white cat became my close friends, she brought me not only fun, but also the object of mine to speak with, face to face to say something, I know she did not understand, but I just need to talk.

In 2005, my son Mukdembu was born, and we moved to the city where we are living now, that year, Kitty also got four babys, I guess their father must be the one who often came in our back garden, that fat Head wild cat called "foolish brother ". Kittens were very lively and cute, but growing very fast and eating a lot, so I took a picture of those cats and put it on the advertising board in a supermarket, hoping someone to adopt them. Finally these four little guys gave out, neighbor lady told me that can give Kitty make a sterilization surgery, I listened to and spent 60 Euros in an animal hospital. Since then, Kitty lost the vitality, lazy to get out every day, more time was just lying in the shade in garden. A spring and summer transfer day, a neighbor knocked the door, saying it was a white cat has been hit by a car on the road, has died, I went to look immediately, that was my Kitty.

Oh, a big man, sad to write here, like some soft-hearted women, seems is very ridiculous, but, that white cat, was accompanying me through a period of confusion and the lost days, faithfully listen to the words what only I would say when there is no body.

So far, the little white cat is buried in the backyard of my home. My son Mukdembu though not remember her, but knows where buried a kitten, called Kitty.

Kitty， 是一只只有脑门儿和尾巴头有两块黑毛的小白猫，刚拿来时只有手掌心那么大，是松工作的地方旁边一只野猫的孩子，说是怕我长时间一个人闷在房子里创作会寂寞，给我找的一个小伴侣。 我到是很喜欢小动物的，于是也就接受了，按时喂她吃的，也时常在创作空闲时逗弄她，看着她玩耍，生活中似乎也增加了一些乐趣。

Kitty很倔，挺有脾气，很会与人纠缠，每当我坐到电脑前，她都要跳到我的笔记本上，天真地看着屏幕上的图片，但我却因此无法打字，将她拿下去，她便又跳上来，去到同一个位置，有时是反复多次地拿下去跳上来，让人无可奈何。　最让人头疼的是，她时常偷偷地去舔吃我调色板上的油画颜色，或许是因为颜料很柔和绵软，如同冰激凌一样的口感吧，时不时地就发现她满脸红色或蓝色地在房间里跑来跑去，更夸张的一次，在她用于排泄的小房子里，竟然发现了天蓝色的大便。。。。。。， 好在颜料是矿物质的，不然，估计她早就中毒了。

那些年里，心中总是有种莫名的紧迫感，很多人过了三十都会有这样的感觉吧，在国内时做过的，失去的，得到过的，还有自己种种那些关于未来的畅想和学术上的计划，都随着环境的改变而飘渺了，面对所有重新开始的一切，说不出的茫然，唯一清晰的就是告诫自己，不能放弃创作，尽管不知目标在哪儿，但是一定要继续走下去。 或许是把自己关在房间里每天面对画布和颜色太久了，时常是几个星期没有与什么人说话，于是，那个小白猫就真的成了我亲密的朋友了，她带给我的不仅仅是乐趣了，也是我每天交谈的对象，与她面对面地说上几句话，知道她听不懂，但我所需要的仅仅是去说话。

2005 年，儿子Mukdembu 出生了, 我由Steenwijk 搬到现在居住的城市，Kitty 便有了孩子，4只可爱的小猫，据我判断他们的父亲一定是在Steenwijk时后面花园里时常出没的那个胖头胖脑叫“傻二憨”的野猫。　小猫们很活泼可爱，但是越来越大，也越来越能吃，于是就拍了照片放到超市的广告栏里，希望有人来领养他们，好不容易才把这4个小家伙送了出去，　也算去了一块心病，那以后，邻居的荷兰大妈告诉我，可以给Kitty做一个绝育手术的，我也就听了，花了60欧元在一家动物医院里。　从那以后，Kitty就失去了以往的活力，每天只是懒洋洋地出去走走，更多的时间是躺在花园的树阴里。　春夏交接的一天，一个邻居来敲门，说是一只白色的猫被路上的汽车撞到了，已经死掉了，我跑去一看，那就是我的Kitty。　

呵呵，一个大男人，在这里伤心地写一些小女人的文字，好像是很可笑的吧，不过，那只白猫，　曾经在我迷茫孤寂的那段生活中陪伴着我，忠实地倾听只有一个人的时候我才会说的心里话。

至今，那只小白猫还埋在家中后院的小花园里。　儿子虽然不记得她，但是知道那里埋着一只小猫，叫Kitty。

Student period, foreign languages I chose English, but tell the truth, for many years what I have learned, it is just dumb English, and the results was poor vigor. In order to advance access to exam questions, before the annual examinations, students from oil painting department, sculpture department and Chinese painting department, hid around the corner of English teacher’s home, if we found the teacher walk home, we swarm up and kidnapped him without any explanation run to a restaurant near the school, foods and wine were already on the table of course. Teacher surnamed Hao, his name was always hanging on our lips when the time close to the examination. Indeed, he is a very good English teacher and with a very kindly heart, after all, art academies specializing in those subjects related to arts, if the students could not be graduated just because the result of a foreign language, that is very regrettable.

"Come on! give me the book " Every time he said like this, straight to the point, face to our teacher in such an occasion and atmosphere, we did feel ashamed and embarrassed.

Dutch people speaking Dutch, but because the country is small, so foreign language education is universal, the general Dutch can speak English, German and some people also can speak French. At the beginning time to be here, eager to share feelings with others is very urgent, for that, I was trying to dig out all previously learned English.  At that time, no matter what kind of language, as long as I am not dumb like.

I had an Instant-Dict, it was a gift from my family, did not expect it will become my best English teacher, I put it in my bag every day and start it whenever idle, especially before when I go somewhere for somethings, I need it to find out the words or sentences what I am going to say there, and then recite the words several times. Sometimes I need it when I talk to someone and could not  remember certain word, enter Chinese characters, show other side the corresponding English...... Unfortunately, that Instant-Dict was broken in 2007, by a spilled a cup of tea.

We say, learning spoken language, you must talking with people very often, I do know that is a shortcut of learning to speak, but was a bit difficult in that moment, I could find many friends to talk with in china, but here is not china,  Moreover, the English words I hold even may be not as good as a British child, in that case was difficult to find people who could be interviewed, but also embarrassed to ask someone, other hand, I get exercised, but let somebody lost the time, was feeling sorry to do that.  After much deliberation, the best way is to dialogue with myself, by virtue of imagination, when necessary I even can organize and play a multiple role. The contents of the dialogue from in post office sending a letter, to visiting a Dutch painter’s studio, and having lunch together. . . . . . I was really spending all the times besides painting  to learn English, and that momentum seems to have an university entrance examination. Even to the toilet, was also used for that……Tell you secretly, I have a small habit like reading books when going to the toilet, No matter what kind of books, as long as books like, after to live in Europe, the book becomes naturally English-language books or that Instant-Dict, often unconsciously, out of the toilet with numb legs.

Perhaps, only those people who depressed about Language barriers can get such power.

学生时期，外语科目选择的是英语，但实话说，多年所学，也仅仅是哑巴英语，且成绩很烂，记得每年考试之前都要与油画系或国画雕塑的几个同学躲到外语教师家门口拐角处，一旦发现老师闲步而来，便蜂拥而上，不由分说驾起来就走，去的地方自然是学校附近的餐厅，酒菜是早点好了的。英语老师姓郝，郝老师是我们临近考试时每天都叨念的名字，姓郝，其实人也很好，对我们这些不学无术者也是满怀仁慈之心，毕竟，艺术院校的学生专攻的是与艺术相关的学科，如果因一门外语而无法毕业，也是很遗憾的。

“书呢，拿出来吧！”每次都是他单刀直入的先开口，而比较无赖的我们那时反倒显得略微的矜持，面对自己多年的老师，在这样一个场合和气氛中，也确实无法不觉得惭愧和汗颜。

 荷兰人自然说的是荷兰语，但因为国家小，所以外语的教育非常普及，一般的荷兰人都可以说英语，德语和法语。初来时，急于与人交流的心情很迫切，所以便搜肠刮肚地把以前所学的英语掏了出来，不管是什么语言，只要能不做哑吧就好。

那时，身边有一个快译通，是出来之前妹妹的男朋友送给我的分别纪念，没有想到在这里它便成了我最好的英文老师和朋友，每天都装在口袋里，只要是闲暇时便打开来看看，特别是将要去哪里办事情之前，更是把自己要说的单词和句子找出来，然后背诵上若干遍。有时与人交谈想不起某个单词的时候，也拿出它来，输入汉字，然后让对方看相应的英文， 可惜那个快译通在07年的时候，不小心一杯茶洒在了上面，无法使用了。

人们说，学口语一定要多说，多与人交谈，我倒知道这是一条最好的学习说话的捷径，但在荷兰不像在国内时，可以交流或者是闲扯的朋友一抓一把，况且自己说话或许还不如一个英国小学生，实在是很难找到经常能与之交谈的人，也不好意思去找，你是获得了锻炼但对方却因你而失去了时间。想来想去，最好的办法就是自己与自己对话，凭借想象，需要时自己可以组织扮演多个角色。 就这样，在闭门创作的闲暇时间里便开始时常自言自语，对话的内容从在邮局寄邮件，到去拜访其他的荷兰画家的画室，并于其一起吃午餐。。。。。。想想那时，真是用了所有的工作空隙去学习英语了，那个劲头好像当年要去应试高考一样，就连去厕所的时候也充分地利用了，我是有一个小癖好，如厕时喜欢随手拿着一本书，不管是什么书，只要是书就好，来欧洲以后，那时的书自然地变成了英语书或是那个快译通，时常是捧着书不自觉地坐到腿脚发麻才意识到应该出去了。

或许只有因对不会说话而感到苦闷的人才会有如此的动力，

Kunst slaat brug tussen culturen / 2002 ( 荷兰Stennwijk 日报关于Steenwijk 市立画廊画展的评论 / 2002 ）

Exhibition in Kunstencentrum Groningen 2001 ( 荷兰北部新闻报 / 钟鼐个人绘画作品展 / 格罗宁根艺术中心 / 荷兰 / 2001）

Exhibition in gallery Forma Aktua / Groningwn 2003 ( 双人展 / Forma Aktua 画廊 / 格罗宁根 / 荷兰 / 2003 )

Exhibitions in Humanitas Groningen / 2002 / 2003 / 2004 / 2005  (群展 /  国际人道组织 - Humanitas Groningen 艺术展览中心 / 格罗宁根 / 荷兰 / 2002， 2003，2004，2005 ）


Art fair in Groningen / 2004 (  格罗宁根艺术博览会 / 2004 ）

A sunny day go to an opening of my exhibition in Groningen (  阳光明媚的一天 /  去画展的开幕式 / 格罗宁根 / 2003 )

Hoorn 的画展之后，给自己的作品拍了照片，制作了一个厚厚的影集，附加几页个人简历和相关的资料。

创作之余，时常去北部最大的城市“格罗宁根”转转，那是一个充满年轻人的城市，有很多文化艺术方面的学校和机构，画廊和美术馆也很多，开始的时候只是去博物馆和美术馆看看，因为那里陈列和保存了很多表现主义的绘画作品，后来，便索性背着背包，装上影集，几片面包和一瓶水，开始去那里寻找属于我的作品的画廊和美术馆。

最初的几家画廊，委婉的拒绝了我，面对我这样一个外来户他们不知道是否可以用我的作品去赚钱，对我来说，倒是可以理解，毕竟，画廊是商业运作，不知道是否赚钱的事情，他们很少去做。不过，荷兰人大多友好，尽管他们对你的绘画作品不感兴趣或觉得不适合在他们的画廊展出，也会表现出极大的热情，好奇地询问你的背景，接受的教育，以及创作方面的相关问题。

就这样没有结果地游逛了一段时间，开始有一点儿灰心，不知道怎样才能打开一个豁口，让自己挤进去。

少有的一个晴天，我又走进了一家画廊，虽然还是没有什么结果，但是却得到了一些信息，一位老者建议我去格罗宁根的艺术中心看看，那是一个市立的艺术机构，不存在商业运作的问题，时常举办一些年轻艺术家的画展。

接待我的，是一个和我年纪相仿的荷兰女人，负责绘画作品展览的审核，长得挺好看，但是有些口吃。。。。。。，她看过作品的照片之后便很干脆地问两个月以后是否可以安排一个画展，由于后来她的热心帮助，我开始了在格罗宁根一系列的展览活动。
 

Not far from residence, there is a telephone booth, insert a special phone card for Asia you can call family or friends there, the phone booth was quite good, a small pavilion, a glass door, people who is inside of it are not afraid of the wind, sun and rain.

The beginning days, feeling strange and lonely, and language barrier, often bought telephone cards to talk half an hour with friends and classmates in china side, to release of the inner loneliness and depressed, because the reason of time difference, often went to that phone booth with starlight,. That phone booth, at the time, regarded as one of my spiritual sustenance.

Repression and loneliness were released, but coming some new troubles, 20 guilders to buy a phone card, just could talk around 40 minutes, I did not know why so expensive that moment for a call to Asian countries,, it seems the communications between China and Europe at that time was by leased other country’s satellite, until later use own satellites, the phone call have become very cheap, even more cheaper than local phone call.

Every time, I need carefully to count the money in my wallet before buying phone cards, it was very easy to count the money, was really little, I always worried if I still could have some coins for buying foods and a pack of tobacco. I remember, once, because of neglect of calculating, in two days I only able to buy two loaves of bread and jam ...... meat, was not possible.

住所的不远处，有一个电话亭，插入打亚洲的专用电话卡就可以和国内的家人及朋友通话了，荷兰的电话亭挺好的，一个小亭子，一扇玻璃门，打电话的人不怕风吹日晒和雨淋。

最初的日子里，难熬的莫过于寂寞和孤单了，人地生疏，语言交流也有很多障碍，于是买上个电话卡和老同事或老朋友聊上半个钟头，释放一下内心的孤寂和郁闷，因为时差的关系，时常是半夜睡不着的时候，伴着星光，或是顶着小雨去到那个电话亭打电话。那个电话亭，在那时，算是我的一个精神寄托了。

郁闷是释放了，但麻烦也有了,   购买一张电话卡要20荷兰盾，40 几分钟就 over 了，不知道那时候为什么那么贵，好像是当时中国与欧洲的信息交通是靠租用别国的通讯卫星的原因，后来使用了自己的卫星就变得很便宜了，甚至比国内间的通话费用都便宜。

每次买电话卡之前都要把钱包里所有的钱仔细地数上一数，可想而知，数目很少，所以数起来也很方便，数钱是因为担心买了电话卡之后是否还有糊口和买上一包荷兰烟草的零头。记得有两次，因为疏于算计，那个星期的两天里，只买了两条面包和果酱 ...... 肉，是没有了。 

( GB )
Hoorn is a beautiful fascinating city in Markermeer lakeshore in north-west of Holland.

The lake was a part of Waddenzee before  the Markerwaarddijk and Afsluitdijk two dams, a few centuries ago, the Netherlands merchant shipping were beginning here for their journey of maritime hegemony.

In January 2001, I came here by train from the north of Holland, with 12 of my works.  The local newspaper: <a young Chinese exhibited his 12 new oil paintings in the East Church in Hoorn>and a photo of my painting. Exhibition was opened without a ceremony, no many guests, but the good news was that I sold the first painting in Europe, 550 Dutch guilders. Still do not know the name of that Dutch lady buyer. . . . . . I was very grateful to her, because I was not sure whether my work there, someone will appreciate and enjoy.

Somewhere, as if arranged, I left my home, friends and everything to be in this small country for my new life, although I had never thought but I am really here, all are so unfamiliar. It is not like what the teacher’s and books described in the political class in china, that the Capitalist countries and systems are dark and decadent, but it is also not as legendary like a paradise in heaven, it is quiet, peace and true.

I could not see my place in this country, but I came, then I have to get started!

( CN )
Hoorn 这是一个会让所有人陶醉的美丽城市，荷兰的西北部，Markermeer 湖的岸边。

在荷兰的　Markerwaarddijk 和 Afsluitdijk 两道拦海坝还没有修建之前，这个内湖是　Waddenzee 的一部分，　据说几个世纪以前，荷兰商船便是从这里开始了他们海上贸易霸权的征途。

2001年1月，我乘火车从荷兰北部来到这里，带着我的 12 幅作品，当地的报纸上，几段文字和一幅绘画作品的照片，< 一个中国年轻人在东教堂展出了他近期创作的１２幅具有东方色彩的油画作品 >。画展没有仪式，没有很多的嘉宾，但欣慰的是，我卖出了到欧洲的第一幅作品，550 荷兰盾。至今也不知道那个买了作品的荷兰女士的任何信息。。。。。。我很感谢她，没有这个不知名的女士，我不确定我的作品是否在这里会有人欣赏和喜欢。

冥冥中，好像是安排好了的，离开了我的学生，朋友和亲人，还有其他的一切一切，尽管我以前从来没有想过会到荷兰这个小小的国家里来开始我的新生活，但我确实是在这里了，所有的都是那么的陌生，不像当年政治课中形容资本主义国家和制度那么的黑暗和腐朽，也不像民间传闻中那样好似乐土天堂。

我不知道在这个国家如何找到一个属于我的位置，不过，既然来了，那就开始吧！

It was the first time to have my solo exhibition in Europe, I went to Hoorn with my 12 oil paintings in a sunny day. That was the starting point of my new life in the Western would. / 荷兰，北荷兰省美术报

In studio / 2009（在画室 / 2009 ）